My Grown Up Style

I'm standing in line at McDonald's with two obviously freshman girls behind me. It's something about the way they dress that gives it away. And yes, they're black girls. Anyhow, one says to the other, "I got to find me some hats like that," talking about the hat that I'm wearing. This is not a unique instance. I am constantly hearing people talk to one another about things I am wearing that they like. Or sometimes the topic is my hair, along the lines of 'that looks cute, but I could never wear my hair like that, or my hair is not good enough for that.' This doesn't annoy me. I appreciate it actually. But it makes me wonder. Back in 2002, I was an undergrad, doing my thing fashion wise, as always. I constantly was told if I'd only relax my hair, I'd be pretty. I got called a "broke down Erykah Badu" and people constantly asked what was up with my hair. I wore afros as a constant. I never looked broke down. Nor did I lack any prettiness. Jealousy, perhaps. But I wonder what the difference is between now and then. I think maybe my confidence exudes these days because Most of the people I am around are undergrads and I am, at long last, a grad student. I have a husband and a child and I could care less what any 18-21 year old, or anyone for that matter, think of the way I dress. Nonetheless, it is cool to know, they all dig my style.

Regrets:

Note to self: get references when selecting student body members for panel discussions. Everyone DOES NOT have something worthwhile to say.

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What do you wear with a sequined mini-skirt? Fishnets and stilletos of course! Anyone know where I can find fishnet thigh highs?

Saturdays....

What do you wear with a black sequin mini skirt? I've no answer and hope you can tell me. I sure bought one though. About twenty minutes after being deemed a MILF (by a girlfriend of a girlfriend read: it was a compliment). I bought three skirts today actually. A gray jean mini-skirt and a white past knee length cotton skirt. I want to call it a gauze material. I'm not sure what you call it actually.

I've always understood I like different music than what is expected of me. Me being the young black woman, that is. I mean I'm in to the underground hip hop thing. I think that's semi expected. It doesn't surprise most folks too much. But what would you say if I told you my lover gives me music by the Pixies(he also sends Busdriver and Serengeti), or that "Untouched" by The Veronicas gets me grooving seriously? Today on the radio I heard an old (ouch) Justin Timberlake song with a Neptunes beat circa 2002. I was moving my whole car jammin' to that one! That was SOO hot when it came out. I think people may shake their heads if they know I liked that one. Lately, I'm into what sounds good. So if it's on the radio and I like it, I try not to feel too bad. I am a recently recovered, er, relapsed, music snob. I don't know which end I am. I rather be a purist and only indulge in underground, indie, world and oldies. But some other stuff I like too.



So I have to find a friend a Marc Jacob purse for his girl. Why not something simple like Louis? I know little about Marc Jacob. **Sigh** He wants something small, classy and timeless. I'm thinking quilted? We'll see.

No Drama Mama

People who are around me these days will say one of the things I champion most about myself is that I've no drama in my life. That might be a teensy lie as my drama is of another sort. I am married, 4+ years with a 3 year old boy. My husband and I argue sure, but about dishes and laundry. I had drama yesterday. Baby boy is, for lack of a better term, anal retentive. He hates to poop. He rather do it in his pull up than in the toilet. I do know why, but whatever. Usually, he'll go in his room and close the door thinking he is hiding from us. Last night, we tried sitting on the potty three times. Oh he screamed and fought. So I let him have his pull up back. The fourth time, he ran to the bathroom and I after him. He said, "No Mommy!" and shut the door on me. Fine, I left him. I figured he would poop in his pull up as always and be fine. At least he's in the right room. Two minutes later I hear the toilet flush. I run in to him. His pull up is still on put somehow, there is a thick layer of poop smeared across the bathroom floor with a radius of a foot. Seriously. The wall looked as though it had been attacked by monkeys. And poo was all over the toilet seat. None in the bowl of course. I look at my smiling boy and ask what happened. "There's poo poo everywhere!" Yes. Indeed there was.

Later, after all the poo was gone, my husband and I had a talk. We have the same talk over and over. We've been married over four years and we have definitely become a married couple. We just live. Which is a problem because I am a person who thrives on spontaneity and romance, passion and tingly feelings. We wake, eat, dress, drop our boy at pre-school, and go class. I am a grad student and he is pursuing a second bachelors. In the course of our day I work in an organizational office, do research for a professor and attempt to get school work done. He goes to class and works out. He is an amateur athlete/personal trainer. In the evening, if neither of us are at meetings, we manage dinner, playing with our boy, and homework. Then we sleep and start again. I think I'll meditate my woes away. Reading over this I feel silly complaining. He's a good husband.

Defining Blackness through Music

It's finally the best time of year:Black History Month time!!!!

And maybe no one is more excited than myself. Yes we have our black president, but this does not erase injustices our people have overcome and stereotypes we have to disprove each day just to get a fair shot at a decent life in this country.

That being said, I believe our music plays a vital role in defining who we are as a people. How so? It shows off our natural creative genius, at the same time being unafraid to display our passion for being exactly who we are. While I think it quite unfortunate that the majority of popular modern black music betrays us as oversexed, materialistic, alcoholics, I do believe it can once again be our saving grace.

I've challenged myself and member of my website TheCornerAtSIUC to post songs that best define the various aspects of blackness.
My first pick is "Black Gold of the Sun" by Rortary Connection