Eyeshadow, Sneezing, and Africana Intellect

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hubby, the future dietitian, said he thinks coffee is my culprit. I think so too. Weening myself will NOT be fun.

So recently, my youtube browsing has created an new hobby. I went from having 2 Maybelline eyeshadow trios to this:


Not much except it's been acquired in a matter of weeks. I've more since I snapped that pic. I LOVE the youtube contests that get you to try different looks. But I seem to be color blind or something when it comes to putting these things together. Yesterday, me and the sis played with my stash:



Since I woke up I haven't stopped sneezing. I think it's the over abundant sta sof fro in my hair at the moment. My hair kept falling in my face today. But when I had my wrap on earlier, that was really the only time my sneezes left. So I hope that's it. When we woke this morning Sun told me I was hot. I didn't think nothing of it. Til' hubby said the same. Then I started feeling yucky. THEN, I thought I was only feeling yucky because I was thinking I might be sick. So I cleaned up my kitchen, arranged for the kid to get picked up and headed to the gym. That's when "it" happened (see below). Maybe it was a mixture of caffeine withdrawal and being slightly under the weather.

Anyway, I want to feel better.

I started a new book the other day, The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts. I'm feeling it thusfar but can't fight the feeling that this largely does not apply to African American women. I got to thinking, maybe there isn't much that DOES apply to African American women in regards to feminism other than it being the white woman's realm. There could be something worth exploring here. I've only recently begun to delve into the realm of Audrey Lorde. I think many may dismiss her on a personal level because she is a lesbian. I had slowly begun to consider just this semester that perhaps, when I begin my PhD studies, I will focus on African Feminisim. During this past decade, I have shyed away from anything even remotely associated with feminism, women's rights and so forth. WHY? Somehow, somewhere I picked up the awful idea that people would think I'm a lesbian, and a bitch, if even assumed to perhaps be interested in feminism. Fortunately for me, I have an awesome muse. Said muse informed me those ideas were largely outdated. No one thinks that way anymore. Outdated is correct. Thougtwise, incorrect. Just as someone convinced me of this foolishness, others have been convinced as well. For instance: the car I recently acquired had this god awful orange construction looking sticker stuck to it which read: "Woman Working." It annoyed me only because it appeared to me to be such an in your face, I am woman hear me roar, feel to it. Not my steelo. But hubby, dear god, he HATES it. He said, "I can't have everyone thinking your into this American Feminist crap." No, he's not American. But why does it have to be crap. Personally, I don't think he really understands what feminism is. And honestly I didn't until I began to slowly give it a chance sometime last fall. In fact, it was reading up on various African matriarchal systems that spurred my interests. "Marriage," as we know, appears to exists only within patriarchal societies across the global. Marriage is, in effect, the monopoly on another person's sexuality. In Matriarchal societies, there is no you belong to me. All this, I own you as my spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever and the expectation that as humans we are only to bind ourselves to one singular individual for the entirety of our lives despite how we and they may evolve, is rubbish. That is why we live in a nation of psychos. At least, that is my take.
But this is my area to expound on and I already shared too much.
I will hunt you down and kill you if you steal my idea. You've been forewarned. :-)

I just felt a need to get my intellect somewhere in this blog. My blog description is so much to live up to. It's what I ponder daily. My old blog was all over my descript, but alas, I grew out of it.





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that does make the coffee thing a bit funnier.

anyhow, i've considered myself a feminist, and beyond that, an equalist for the last four years (while also incapable of being considered a lesbian).

i wanted to suggest you to consider the idea of marriage as being undefined as anything but a piece of paper and tax breaks, without any of the social implications. which is genuinely what it is. many people live their lives in relationships outside of the legal qualifications of marriage, but still live a "married" life. food for thought

also, as far as sexual monopolies, read up on Alfred Kinsey.

- gabe

I like your thought path.

Mrs. Wonderful,

In the past year I have been thinking about a similar sentiment, but it is definitely hard to get past because of our socialization. You said, "the expectation that as humans we are only to bind ourselves to one singular individual for the entirety of our lives despite how we and they may evolve, is rubbish".

I want to hear more of your thoughts on this either here in reply or in another blog (look at me making requests). I ask because currently, I have been married for 6 years, but have been seperated for the last year. He is dating and Lord knows I'm trying (can't seem to meet anyone though). I feel the need to explore and see my options. However, there is a gnawing part of me that says, you should try and work it out. He has begged to the point of tears several times. It's not that I think we have evolved in seperate directions (we have, but I think with this distance we've had from each other, there is the potential to overcome that challenge), it's moreso that I love the man, but don't feel all the romantic stuff anymore. I really don't want to be out of his life in absolute terms, but I want to feel romantically inspired by the one I chose to love. I always ask myself if I'm being silly, because all I'm asking for is "infatuation"--And I wonder if I am holding out for infatuation only to end up in the same place in years to come---or whether or not this is the end and the both of us should really begin the legal process????????? Of course, I don't expect you to have the answers, I just wanna hear more on your views as they may challenge my own.

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