Saturday, June 6, 2009
I went to the gym yesterday and I think a trainer tried to hit on me. I dunno. Maybe trainers are supposed to be extra friendly and smiley? I hope hubby don't give other folks the vibes I got from dude. (Here's where my socialization and higher understanding collide.) Probably not though. Hubby's idea of romantic is, "if you put Sun to sleep we can do something before the highlights come on." No joke. Point is, that is one of the reasons why I don't like to work out without him. I feel so awkward having people make passes at me. I'm actually fine with little ghetto boys saying "Aye! Aye gurl!" because all I have to do is keep going. I been dealing with nonsense my whole life. I don't take that serious. But the second a man, with sense, comes correct, it's so weird. I think this is because I never managed to make it farther than the college dating scene, read: the real world. Hubby and I got together after a series of coincidental meetings. So when real world people express interest, I play dumb, smile and look for my husband. He's like my protector. I actually don't like that kind of attention. I feel violated, and awkward and vulnerable. I'll share: I once had a boyfriend for over a year in college just to say I had one so people would leave me be. I didn't even like him. He annoyed me and we saw each other once every few months. In fact the way I broke up with him was to say I now had hubby. I tired to break up with before that. He kept acting like his phone was going out. I moved apartments and refused to tell him where I moved to. He thought he'd convince me one day to marry him and just stay home and manage household affairs. He came from an affluent family who said he needed to find a wife. He thought I was her... Ok, I don't know where I intended to go with that. But he sucked. I'm quite content with hubby and Sun. It means I never have to deal with drama (unless he invites it which he won't) I never have to wonder where a man is, what he's doing or who he is with. My lifelong curiosity over who I'd marry and what my kid would be like has now been quenched. I have so much energy to put into other things. Like thesis, and making money and spreading knowledge and wealth, traveling, growing food, and of course, playing in makeup!
Posted by Sum Kinda Wonderful... at 10:39 AM