Dont talk to me... I wont respond accordingly

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I went to the gym yesterday and I think a trainer tried to hit on me. I dunno. Maybe trainers are supposed to be extra friendly and smiley? I hope hubby don't give other folks the vibes I got from dude. (Here's where my socialization and higher understanding collide.) Probably not though. Hubby's idea of romantic is, "if you put Sun to sleep we can do something before the highlights come on." No joke. Point is, that is one of the reasons why I don't like to work out without him. I feel so awkward having people make passes at me. I'm actually fine with little ghetto boys saying "Aye! Aye gurl!" because all I have to do is keep going. I been dealing with nonsense my whole life. I don't take that serious. But the second a man, with sense, comes correct, it's so weird. I think this is because I never managed to make it farther than the college dating scene, read: the real world. Hubby and I got together after a series of coincidental meetings. So when real world people express interest, I play dumb, smile and look for my husband. He's like my protector. I actually don't like that kind of attention. I feel violated, and awkward and vulnerable. I'll share: I once had a boyfriend for over a year in college just to say I had one so people would leave me be. I didn't even like him. He annoyed me and we saw each other once every few months. In fact the way I broke up with him was to say I now had hubby. I tired to break up with before that. He kept acting like his phone was going out. I moved apartments and refused to tell him where I moved to. He thought he'd convince me one day to marry him and just stay home and manage household affairs. He came from an affluent family who said he needed to find a wife. He thought I was her... Ok, I don't know where I intended to go with that. But he sucked. I'm quite content with hubby and Sun. It means I never have to deal with drama (unless he invites it which he won't) I never have to wonder where a man is, what he's doing or who he is with. My lifelong curiosity over who I'd marry and what my kid would be like has now been quenched. I have so much energy to put into other things. Like thesis, and making money and spreading knowledge and wealth, traveling, growing food, and of course, playing in makeup!


5 Responses to “Dont talk to me... I wont respond accordingly”
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I know what you mean when you say that people are constantly calling out at you and stuff. I am constantly getting picked up in WALMART (of all places) by old men.


I've had uncomfortable gym moments too. When I was 18 the gym manager was calling me at home and asking me if there was anything I needed help with and telling me that he was there for "whatever" (with special emphasis) I needed. Forget the personal trainer who had me on the squat machine and was telling me to spread my legs wide and "go up and down slowly"...oh, it was terrible. I didn't have the voice to say anything then, and am only slightly better now.


Good lord Gwoman. You probably would do good with a female trainer or female only gym. Just don't go to Curves. They have a terrible focus. Hubby is excellent though. He's a trainer and he's so hands on while still being hands on. It takes courage to be at the gym though. It's intimidating. But I was a show on fit tv where they said its normal to feel awkward but everyone is really there to get focus on themselves.

Well, sadly-there are no more gym days (I lack physical discipline :-)...but my last gym was in fact a women's gym.

So, I went walking about manhattan streets today...and conscious of what you discussed in your blog, I paid attention to my responses to men who were compelled to compliment. I actually feel good about myself.....I think I am SOOO much better. I used to walk with my head down, so as not to have an uncomfrtable moment...but today I noticed I looked them right in the eye (no more than 3 seconds----anything more than that is a lil wierd, lol), and I said in a very businesslike manner, "Thank you very much. Have a good day". OPEN. CLOSE. lol

-----I now have to pay attention to what I do in close encounters, because there is a difference.

Girl good! I use to walk around with my head in a book. Literally. Granted I was on campus so I could get away with it. But I straight ignored people. I think I may have some fear of unknown men, which would have to be discussed in another blog. I found I would walk around with my head down especially if I had to pass a group of men, black men. I'd silently say just don't say nothing to me, please. I wonder what's to that...

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