Monday, November 30, 2009
I got a B on this stupid paper. I feel like I slighted myself somehow. The prof said it seems rushed. It was! Everyone of her stupid papers are rushed. I have to read two friggin books a week and then you want me to write on them. Imma have to tell her. I don't understand have the shit in those books. They're talking Foucault and Bauhaus, Marx and whoever else that is white. I'm just tired of it. I don't get it. The class discussions are damn near impossible for me to get a word in edgewise and whenever I do I sound like the other black girl in the class sounds to me. Like I'm making stuff up as I go along. I read, I actually read these books. I'm absorbing it and attempting to apply it somehow, but now I officially feel like a fraud. FAILURE. Yes, I know, it is a "B" but I am NOT a "B" student. I am exceptional. Bottom line. I have to be to compete with these kids because this is history. Not only is it a white world but it's a white man's world, history is, I mean. I'm going to re write the stupid paper and the one I just handed her. Goddammit.
Posted by Sum Kinda Wonderful... at 3:39 PM