Afrocentrically inclined, this blog explores the nether regions of this mid twenties Chinese-Mexican-Black- American.
Hip Hop, Sankofa, Fashion, Spirituality, Motherhood, Sex, Lovers, Poetry, Ancestry, History, HERstory, Africa, Brasil, Bahamas Islands, Mexico, Chicago, Academia, Philosophy, and Heathenism in general.
Hi everybody, This could be a great opportunity for you or someone you know. Spread the word! Syracuse University has 10 Full Rides for African American Men and Women Interested in Studying Architecture
Mark Robbins, Dean of Syracuse University's School of Architecture is desperately seeking young men and women of color interested in pursuing a five year professional degree in Architecture. He says he's deeply committed to bringing diversity to his field and has scholarship money set aside to fully cover education costs for 10 students. He says that Hispanic enrollment in the school has increased substantially, but it's been harder to attract Blacks. Syracuse University School of Architecture has a great reputation and this seems like a terrific opportunity, so please pass this on to everyone you know.
Contact: Mark Robbins, Dean, School of Architecture (315) 443-2256 http://soa.syr.edu/index.php School of Architecture Syracuse University 201 Slocum Hall Syracuse , NY 13244-1250 (315) 443-2256
I have become to refocus on all the things I want for myself. I sometimes wonder I lose focus in the first place but quickly drop those those thoughts. All that matters is from here on in. Now and the future. I can accomplish all I put my mind to regardless of rules and or expectations. I am going with what feels right.
Right now, I have my sights set on this winter and our vacation to the Bahamas. This will be my third time visiting and I'm staying for just over two weeks. I am thrilled about his particular visit because I have four friends visiting as well. And my sister in law has 2 friends coming. We're calling it our Bahamas Slumber Party. We'll spend New Years and New Years Eve in Atlantis and Aquaventure. We will spend a day in Eleuthera the Island known for it's beautiful pink sands. Boxing Day parade, Bay street, the Christmas Carnival, all of it we will visit. Personally, my favorite thing to do is shop in the Straw Market. It's a knock off girl's dream!
Yesterday I cam across a Jujumamablog.com and feel as though a breath of new life has been given to me. To see a black women speaking so openly and matter of factly about marriage, relationships and sex in the way she does made me stand up and say, "Yes!" Seriously. I have had similar ideas myself for awhile and have always believed it is perfectly okay to love more than one being at a time. Because of the way our society functions and because I made a promise when I got married, I have acknowledged time and again there is a different and better way to go about our notions on love and marriage but "honored" marriage in the way that is expected of me. But I am thinking it is time for us to head into a new direction. All the research in my academic life is pointing me here, my own life experiences has pointed me her, and randomly youtubing pointed me here. All signs point to go, so it is time to make a move.
You can check out Jujumama at Jujumamablog.com or check out the video below.
Additionally, I decided I HAVE to purchase her book:
I just am moving forward, and it feels so good. Working out and watching my body being to take the shape I've wanted for it is invigortating! I am beginning to feel sexy at all times without having to put on certain clothes or makeup! The purchase of the new blender/emulsifier is exciting as well. I signed up for a 21 day food challenge. Suddenly it seems so much easier than I ever expected!!! I already love to eat leafy greens and prefer "liquid breakfast." I can see myself going like this permanently. Well, maybe like 90% of the time. I do love seafood.
So many good things have happened to me suddenly! First, and this may seem little, but I order a print from Jaishi.com:
I saw it over a month ago after finding Jaishi on Twitter. I wanted to order it right away but decided to wait. After following Jaishi for a while, she posted a buy one get one free sale. I was thrilled. I ordered my two prints for the price of one and it came withing a week. They are so beautiful! She also included two stamps with images of her other paintings on them as well as a smaller print for free! I already know I will be ordering something else from her soon!
So the second thing that happened is I received a facebook message from one of the groups I admin on that site. Basically, the creator was asking all of the admins if we were still interested in helping with the group. I know I had shrugged off my duties for awhile and apparently so had others. I decided to step up to the plate again not only for that group but also for a smaller group I had created which between 600 and 700 members. Within a week, I received an email from Chris-Tia Donaldson, author of the book Thank God I'm Natural! She asked if I could possibly spread the word about her book to all of my group members and in return she would send me a copy of the book. I jumped at the opportunity. My book arrived within a week signed by her! I was so delighted. It's a great book, especially for anyone considering going natural. A how to guide for natural hair. I truly wish I had this years ago. I am not saying that because I got a free book, but because it is really that good!
Finally, I made a youtube video with an update of my locs, as seen below. I tweeted about it, and the owner of one of the blogs I admire ontheroadtoqueendom.com asked if she could repost my vid on her blog! It's there now, go check it out. I just woke up feeling so brand new today deciding only good things can happen in my life and they are!
Lisa Wu Hartwell. I have decided to use her as inspiration for my human self. I mean, she is such a go getter. Everything she sets her mind to she not only accomplishes, but blows it out of the water. And she stays busy.
I've had a hard time recently. I am battling half of myself. The half of me that likes to convince that it is easier not to try, not to get out of bed, not to bother. This is the half that caused me to drop out of college when I got pregnant. It is very clever at creating excuses that make loads of sense. I used to think this half was simply a lazy gene a high school counselor told me I had as I barely graduated. But I now understand it is depression that I battle. It comes and goes. Mostly goes. But when it's here, it makes sure no one is unaware. I stop answering my phone and won't even check voice mails. Everything irritates me. And everything becomes next to impossible to attempt. Usually, I just lay down, all day, and hope it will leave. Sleeping means I can't overeat, I can't yell at anyone, and I don't have to have the 'recognize your higher self' pep talks my hubby likes to give. He's good at them actually. And they are quite effective after we've gotten past me throwing books at him. When I'm like this I just want to be left alone, however, that tends to be a main trigger of these episodes. When I have nothing to do, I began to feel useless. I detest feeling so. I thrive off of being useful. Particularly, I enjoy being knowledged on little known, yet gravely important truths. And I enjoy enlightening others, unintentionally. I notice I tend to assume everything I know is common knowledge. Therefore, at times, I get exasperated with regular folk. This category includes the undergrads I advise via our Black Affairs Council. I am constantly astounded when I hear myself saying stuff like, you've never heard of Little Brother? You do know the student center has more than three floors; Fastweb.com has so may scholarships you can apply for; It's considered inappropriate to tell people what you want to pledge and even worse for you to imitate their strolls and signs; All blacks ain't Christian; Original Egyptians were not the same color as me; The bible was commissioned by Constantine; The banjo comes from Africa; Integration hurt us more than helping us and so forth and so on. I mean these are all little things, but I figured everyone knew this stuff. My point. My point is that this makes me feel useful. I currently have several things I can do to feel useful, but I have had a hard time motivating myself to get to it. Just do it. Nike.
I am trying to just do it. I know I can accomplish any and all I set my mind to. But I can't seem to set my mind on anything. I haven't even been motivated to type. But I am pressing ever onward. I thought to myself today, I have a healthy family, my husband is Mr. Wonders, my kid is the cutest, I'm beautiful, healthy, inspirational (I am told), I am on the path I have set out for myself. I have concluded my human self, as opposed to my detachable spirit, is doing what Westernized humans do. I am trying to find reasons to be unhappy. I have a wonderful life except for this depression that I can't seem to kick. I can ignore it and delay it but it always returns.
I chatted with one of my online buddies yesterday and she was telling me how she has so much she can do creatively but her thing is finding the time. I told her just go after it and time will be made. I need to tell myself that. I just have to do what it is I want and it will get done. Just do it. My new mantra. Just do it.
I'm posting because I need to write. An update I suppose. This weekend is my school's Black Alumni Reunion. I am THRILLED. I am currently enrolled but I am alum too. Got my first degree here. And my friends are coming! (I know you wanna scroll down and say, didn't this chick say she ain't got no friends?) But they are and I'll be nice and inebriated. *sigh*
Hubby and I had a lunch date today and I told him, "I've never been to the vineyard. That'll be fun. I am so ready for the drinking to begin." Because that's what we did in undergrad. We drank. And what better way to commemorate our experience than by drinking. To which he responds, "I think you should stay as far away from alcohol as possible." I politely told him no. I will be drunk. Thank you.
Where does he get off!?! I NEVER drink. The last Black Alumni I was nursing (no drinking) and the one before I was pregnant (no drinking). My kid needed me, so I didn't go out except to a BBQ. I am not an old maid nor a "mama" meaning my life is defined by the fact of my child's existence. I want to have fun. I think hubby just wants me to jump aboard his purification train. He's an athlete and wants to be in top shape. But also for his own spirituality. Which I think is lovely. Honestly. But I'm just getting over caffeine (I say as I sip my iced mocha with soy). I love people but don't fully enjoy myself in "party" situations without alcohol. Why you ask? Because I only like to be around Black people. And unfortunately, where I live, black parties only play bullshit music which I will spend my entire night complaining about and breaking down the degrading and destructive messages if it where not for alcohol to drown out the lyrics and keep my head bobbing to the nonsense. And I don't go out anyway. Just once in awhile. I last went out one night in May and before that the last weekend in February and even that was to my girl's house where we all sat around and watch the BET version of Malcolm X followed by a game of taboo til 4 in the morning. That is my going out.
Anyway, Hubby wound up saying, just have a good time. Enjoy yourself. I'm glad he did, because otherwise I would have felt guilty drinking around him.
This is why I look forward to moving to Atlanta. I'm going ahead of him. Perhaps I will find some stimulating places to visit that don't require me to drink in order to enjoy them. I'm told in L.A. there are all sorts of Black people "like me" that gather in convenient nightlife spots. We'll see.
